Tuesday, September 26, 2006
♥
-9:49 PM hello just a short post arnd before i leave since i am feeling so full of trouble, i shall blog a bit to relax :D '
anyway i went to macs to study with twinnie just now. then as you know..being twinnies we will keep talking and talking abt everything on earth so i was stuck at a page of the notes for 2 HRS! and i manage to finish another 2 page at the last half an hour when i started to panick for not finishing my notes. scold me for being terrible lah! and we eat and eat.. we ate student meal with LEMON LIME JUICE :D cheerios! then i ate this weird but pretty pocky twinnie bought and the dove chocolate and we gave to reena as well! aint we nice? oh she let us make the sundae can :D but we didnt want to spoil the machine. haha and guess what, both of us can draw nice birds okay! and to end the day, we ate sundaes. haha i spent quite a lot. feeling quite bad. OH! then we met lots of weird ppl. first there was this cchy girl which twinnie say keep looking over, i didnt rly bother lah. then this 2 opss girl with a guy, which made twinnie laugh non stp. then this grp of pres high guys i think. who was blasting the music so loudly. then when twinnie went to toilet and i was playing with the phone, one of them went : THERE LIKE THE GIRL THERE. or sth like that. and all 5 turn back and stared for a while then turn back, laugh a bit, and went off. pff. okay took some photos..
my bag! and if you take a closer look...
ALL PINK! haha :D the jacket, hp pouch, wallet, cute little bag, file are ALL pink! and my shirt and slippers are pink as well :D i feel happy! yayanyway its mummy birthday tomorrow so
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA!
and to twinnie papa as well :D
I want to know
How do I breathe without you
If you ever go
How do I ever
Ever survive
How do I
How do I
How do I live
DANCER
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
Monday, September 25, 2006
♥
-9:49 PM hello ((: i am leaving soon! i shall just blog a bit before i slp since i am feeling high and cant slp. oh these are the pictures i tried to upload ytd but failed to..
by weiyi :D
see! weiyi loves sheena and sheena loves weiyi as well :D
haha see weiyi i am so nice and dont forget your promise to sing me ge qian ((:
haha shall do the quiz winny asked me to do long ago :D
1. full name: sheena phua (: [shall not type my full name]
2. name backwards: auhp aneehs
3. were you named after someone: dont think so. my mum said i was named that cos my aunt like it
4. meaning of name: dont know? you can go check for me and tell me :D
5. nickname: a lot leh. nana lah :D
6. screen name: uhh. whats that?
7. D.O.B: 20.01.92
8. place of birth: mt alvernia
9. nationality: singaporean.
10. current location: my home!
11. star sign: capricorn/aquaris [i dont know which one!]
12. religion: buddhist
13. height: 160 cm :D
14. weight: eh. 43.5! i lose 0.5 ((:
15. shoe size: school shoe is either 5 or 6 lah
16. hair colour: black and slight brown :D
17. eye colour: black?
18. who do you look like: myself (:
19. innie or outtie: huh? eh both bah
20. leftie or rightie: rightie
21. gay, straight, bi or others: STRAIGHT LAH!
22. best friends: quite a few to name :D
23. best friend you trust most: sandy? and others too lah! dont make things difficult for me
24. favourite pals: my close friends (:
25. best friend of opposite sex: eh. mr peacock? hah (: elmo oso can lah :D
26. best buddies: my close friends lah! so naggy
27. boyfriend or girlfriend: boy lah! i am a girl can!
28. crush:huh?
29. parents: mummy and daddy :D
30. worst enemy: erm.. dont have lah
31. favourite online guy: ehs. peacock :D
32. favourite online girl: err..quite a few you know. it depends
33. craziest friend: sandy is not a bad choice
34. advice friend: sandy!
36. person you cry with: still sandy!
37. any sisters: yeps :D one!
38. any brothers:yeps :D one too
39. any pets: nah..
40. any disease: NO!
41. pagers: haha.toy ones.
42. personal phone line: my hp number?
43. cell phone: yeah!
45. pool or hot tub: depends on the weather
46. a car: my dad has! and i am determine to have one too
47. your personality: eh. you can ask others abt it
48. driving: yes! in timezone
49. room: PINK :D not neat but still presentable. with lots of stuffies and books.
50. whats missing: err.. nth for now. i just found my cd!
51. school: chongfu. nanyang
52. bed colour: bedsheet you mean? PINK!
53. relationship with parents: super good!
54. believe in yourself: most of the time
55. believe in love at first sight: not really
56. good listener: i dont know? shld be not very bad
57. get along well with parents: VERY WELL
58. save email conversations: if worth it
59. pray: seldom
60. believe in reincarnation: dont know?
61. make fun of people: hehe. sometimes lah
62. like to talk on the phone: depends on who is at the other end
63. want to get married: depends? sometime not sometime yes
64. like to drive: dont mind lah
65. motion sickness: huh? i dont think so bah
66. eat stem of broccoli: YEPS ((:
67. eat chicken with fork: huh. depends on where i am lah
68. dream in colour: what?
69. type with your fingers on home role: what?
70. sleep with stuff animals: yeah :D sometimes lah. heh
71. next to you: mp3
72. on the walls of your room: shelve with stuffies :D
73. on your mousepad: the mouse?
74. dream car: nice cool black ones!
75. dream date: the perfect date you can think of
76. dream honeymoon spot: somewhere i like and nice
77. dream husband or wife: mr perfect :D
78. bedtime: huh?
79. under your bed: another bed :D
80. single most important question: what?
81. bad time of a day: when i am not feeling good
82. your worst fear: to lose something or someone
83. the weather is: cooling
84. time: 9:45
85. date: 25 sept 06
86. best trick did on someone: i forgot. heh
87. theme song: huh? quite a lot
88. hardest thing about growing up: i dont know?
89. funniest experience: i forgot.
90. scariest experience: eh.. a lot lah
91. silliest thing you have ever said: shall not say :D
92. scariest thing while you are with your friends: they disappear when you turn back!
93. worst feeling:..to be sad and feel lost?
94. best feeling in the world: when i have what i want!
95. AND NOW THE SABOTAGING BEGINS!!! CHOOSE 5 TO DO THE QUIZ!
i dont know? err.. SANDY can do aft eoys. then anyone else can do lah :D haha!
DANCER
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
Saturday, September 23, 2006
♥
-12:02 AM hello. its distressing time now. i decided i shall stay up till at least 12 so i can sms ahgong HAPPY BIRTHDAY :D dont say i am not fillial okay! anyway i know i said i wont blog but come on! i am so bored now and i have studied for so long..until i feel asleep when i studied -.- thats bad lah but..haha sorry lor! i havent been quite awake since this morning. i was like a walking zombie and my knee is hurting like dont know what. i cld have just sat on the chair the whole day if i was not required to move. and i studied for 3 hrs in sch while waiting for twinnie. I DIDNT SLP OKAY! so heres to reward. and tmr i will mug like crazy again... no one or any shows shall tempt me (: heres some quizzes to do since i am so bored.
100 things about me
1. Name: SHEENA :D
2. Middle Name: i..dont think so
3. Location: my home!i shall not reveal in case someone stalks me :D
4. Place of Birth: mt. alvernia (:
6. Male or Female: FEMALE lah
7. Bus: must i name all?
9. Occupation: student. dancer can? :D
10. Initials: SPSH
11. Screen Name: whats that?
Your Appearance :
12. Hair Color : black. with slight brown (:
13. Hair Length: below shoulder? i want to cut soon!
15. Best Feature: how i know! eyes lah eyes lah :D
16. Height: 160 ): dont laugh at me okay! small is cute pls.
17. Skin colour: err..normal people colour?
18. Glasses: contacts can :D
19. Shoe size: sch shoe? 5 or 6 lah
20. Weight: 44 ): I GAINED 1 kg!
Your Firsts
22. First best friend: sandy (: and still one today!
23. First Award: i forgot!
24. First Sport You Joined: i have always been a dancer :D
25. First thing you did today: open my eyes and head for toilet
26: First thing you ate today: bread (:
27. First thing you said today: byebye
28. First Love: huh? what do u want to know
Favorites
29. Movie: so many. eh..i not stupid can (:
30. TV Show: huh! err...DISNEY CHANNEL LAH :D mtv oso can
31. color: PINK! yellow blue black too (:
32. Rock Band: quite a number :D i cant choose one
33. Place to get groceries: NTUC?
34. Food: I LOVE ICE CREAM :D oh APPLES!
35. Season: winter <33
36. Candy: mint one ((: marshmellows too!
37. Sport: huh? i dont know lah. all are the same to me
38. Restaurant: SWENSENS (: can? cos got ice cream :D
42. Animal: dolphins (:
43. Book: i dont know!
44. Magazine: i am okay with all!
Currently
45. Doing before you started this survey: chatting on msn uncle shan :D
46. Thinking: of sending sms to ahgong :D
47. Wearing: PINK razor back with black SHORTS :D
48. Crying bout: i am not crying now.
49. Eating: nothing. eating so late makes you fat you know!
50. Drinking: nothing
51. Typing: answers to the survey
52: Talking to: uncle shan :D
53. Listening To: hei se mao yi. HAH WEIYI!
54. Thinking about: ahgong!
55. Wanting: EOYS HIT MY TARGET!
56. Watching: the computer screen as the words appear one by one :D
Future
57. Where do you see yourself in 5 years: 19 years old. university i hope :D
58. Kids: huh?
59. Want to be Married: i dont mind :D
60. Career in Mind: i dont know leh. my uncle ask me to be a chemist -.-
Which is Better with the Opposite Sex
63. Hair color: black or brown :D
64. Hair length: normal hair length lah! oh must know how to style hair :D
65. Eye color: black? brown?
66. Measuremnts: err... i dont know
67. Cute or sexy: hah right! cute lah :D handsome as well.
68. Lips or Eyes: what?? eyes?
69. Hugs or Kisses: more hugs (:
70. Short or Tall: TALL! but not too tall for me pls
71. Easygoing or serious: easygoing AND serious at times
72. Romantic or Spontaneous: applies to situation lah!
73. Good or Bad: GOOD LAH!
74. Sensitive or spontaneous: both :D
75. Hook-up or Relationship: huh? relationship sounds better
77. Trouble Maker or Hesitant One: hesitant better. i dont want endless troubles pls
Have You Ever
78. Kissed a Stranger: nopes
79. Had surgery: no! and never want
80. Gone commando: no i guess
81. Ran Away From Home: no lah.
82. Broken a bone: oh no! and hope never will
3. Got an X-ray: i dont show ppl my bones :D
84. Been on a cruise: YES.
85. Got a car accident: NO!
86. Dumped someone: heh. (:
87. Cried When Someone Died: ya lah.
88. Cried At School: yeps ):
Do You Believe In
89. God: depends
90. Miracles: sometimes
91. Love at First Sight: not rly
92. Ghosts: eh.. yeah. so scary
93: Aliens: yeps. eh very horrible can!
94. Soul Mates: YES ((:
95. Heaven: a bit lah.
96. Hell: a bit too.
97. Answered prayers: depends
98. Kissing on The First Date: NO!at least i wont.
99. Horoscopes: sometimes..
Answer Truthfully
100. Is there someone you wish you had?: yeah..
DANCER
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
Thursday, September 21, 2006
♥
-9:37 PM hello i dont think i will blog until maybe end of eoys. depends on my time :D maybe i wld come back occasionally. anyway took quite some photos today. will upload it when i am free :D bye!
DANCER
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
♥
-1:40 PM HELLO :D i am currently in... somewhere. heh shh dont say where! its not good to know the truth. okay i am feeling spastic and high cos of the crazy lunch break i just went through. eh everyone. ITS TIME TO LOVE CARROT :D because carrots are healthy and nice and cute too.
eh stupid joleen pls stp blking me. i cant see a thing u extra woman. and do u know PE shirt are not allowed in class?? i will book u i tell u! oh i realise my typing is accurate cos i type the previous line without looking at the screen (: anyway! i discover its PINK when we look the screen from the top. cool man!
haha! WEIYI IS MY NEW LOVE :D mr zeng weiwei and ms pan yunyun are going to elope together leaving debbie and heeai heartbroken. and our milo nu lang have yet to find her milo lang jun. HERE..I SINCERELY WISH YOU FIND YOUR MILO LANG JUN SOON ((:
oh yeah. i just finish the IT challenge thing. eh i passed! cheerios :D i got 16/30 BY LUCK. i was just guessing through all the way. haha anyway i am staying back to study today with my cuppycakes (: eh but she is doing geog leh. i am doing maths. i have been doing maths non stp but then ah..i realise i always have to do maths before i can start on others. ohwells. i will aim to finish the mid yr specimen paper by today (:
haha i see tianhui just tagged my blog and she say i make her feel hot. cool! eh anyway ah. lets talk abt ytd. i feel accomplished ytd cos i lug this big bag of files home by myself and i survived the bus journey :D then i did the science paper and finished it. and i think my self-discipline is getting better cos i only used the com for arnd 20 min :D btw ah. i realise i am very into veg these few days. i dunno why too. but i have the sudden urge to be a vegetarian x) haha okay i shall not. i shall continue obtaining nutrients from animals as well :D
eh toot toad say she is not going to school tmr. oh god. i must survive 2 hrs of chinese by myself can! ppl pls pray i dont faint and die in class. oh btw ah. i finish my kou tou bao gao alrd. (: though its quite terribly done but still..at least i finish it. mm. i conclude tianhui have very STEADY but at the same time very UNSTEADY laughter. tsk. okay i shall not blog anymore cos i realise my eng is horrible. i will blog more tonight if i feel like it :D BYE!
DANCER
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
Sunday, September 17, 2006
♥
-10:02 PM :DDD haha dont ask me why i start with that. i just feel like it :D anyway its super cold now, i am wearing my jacket can. i think soon i will start wearing gloves and socks. then i will look like snowman (: oh cool man.
anyway i am watching some chinese show now, about those cheng yu one. 2 cf dancers are inside and both are in the final stage :D haha jiayou! sms-ed jianglaoshi to watch. dont know if she did or not. anyway i realise mummy is quite dumb lah. ytd she asked me if i have a friend whose surname is MAO then i was like huh? i only know a MAO ze dong and no other MAOs. then today she told me there! someone surname is mao! ur friend is from 6 respectful last time one. then i was like OH MIAO U MEAN! and she asked me how to read m.i.a.o. fine lor her pinyin got some problem lah. make me feel like a dumb when i didnt know what she was talking abt.
okay one of them got third and one fourth. ohwells. welldone ppl (: haha i am so encouraging right! aiya... anyway. lets talk abt today. so i woke up at 8+ then mummy sent me to cf for dance before going for some exibition with mei. angeline was the first. eh c'mon i am not bad okay! i was on time x) but unfortunately ms angeline forgot to bring the cd and she didnt have the ipod. so we were slacking all time. but good lah. cos i had time to study for my bio (: then xinying came and she started doing her work as well. angeline told us to think of steps but i guessed we were quite mean we ignored her. haha so she ended playing with piano until she got bored and in the end, we decided to go home at 11+. then i went to ahma house, and found out she steam the dumplings :D and there were truckloads fruits lah. i was super excited but i decided to control myself and not start gorging. so i ate the nice dumpling and guess what, she cooked the nice porridge ): but nvm. i had it for dinner (: and guess what again? mummy cook spaghetti for dinner ): eh thats so horrible lah! grr. but anyway! i feel super nice cos i didnt scold my bro at all okay. i was super nice to him today :D and oh! i studied bio too. didnt sidetrack by watching mtv though its on.
arnd 3+ we came home and mei and bro wanted to go down for swimming so i went down with mummy to study by the pool :D i realise its a condusive enviroment. but then it was going to rain then so we came up in the end. and i studied again (: applause! all the way till dinner before i start to watch tv x) eh i know its bad lah. i did self reflection okay. so i decided that i will MUG tmr like crazy! oh and i ate a lot of fruits during dinner until my mummy took away the fruits cos she say i am having overdosage ): eeyer. at most 4 servings lor! anyway fruits are healthy and it can replace the fibre i lost by not eating veg today :D look on the bright side! okay nvm. guess what! i taught my sis maths ((: haha i am so proud of myself. and i realise my bro is qutie a block.. even mummy say he have mental block.
DADDY IS COMING HOME TODAY (: CHEERIOS!
eh i am feeling super okay today. yeah :D
oh by the way tmr is filming for audition. 2nd grp jiayou :D
DANCER
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
Saturday, September 16, 2006
♥
-8:56 PM yeah! i just finished my other 3 specimen papers in the textbook :D aft a whole day. actually it doesn't really make sense why i took so long. i started doing at arnd 2 or 3+, and just finished it. like abt 5 hrs? with eating and stuff in btw lah. but its so long. but nvm! no matter what i finished it :D and i am super pissed cos i dunno why i got wrong for some. GRR!
pff. super slpy now. woke up at 6 today okay! cos mei have to go to cf for the p1 orientation thing, so i went with her lah. anyway i am going to help out for the little dancers performing (: so i practically dragged myself everywhere cos i was super slpy. so finally at 7:30 we arrived at cf. then as i was walking into cf i saw SHANCHIN and larry i think? i cant see clearly who issit with him lah. eh maybe its not shanchin leh. why is he walking from busstp so early in the morning. but it does look like him. well maybe i was not awake then.. i dunno?
angeline was alrd there when i went. OH yuehong ahyi wore yellow can! hahah cos she always wear red what. i didnt know she had yellow shirt x) then i asked her is she there to go along with the wushu boys cos they wore yellow too. she said it was cos the principal asked her why she always wear red so she wore yellow -.- but she still look nice lah :D haha! okay so i went to help. did hair at first, then i got super pissed with the gel all over my hand so me and angeline decided to do foundations. and we did for only 2 person. NOT COS WE ARE LOUSY, but because almost everyone is done. so in the end i did eyeshadow and angeline did blusher :D i like to help ppl put eyeshadow, and they said it was nice okay :D claps then while waiting i was playing arnd with the jnrs. hey i get along well with ppl okay! pff nicole bully me! bleah. then shermaine had a hard time rmb-ing my number. haha! i dont think its that hard lor. vivien just spent her time meddling with my hair. but today its a bad hair day so my hair was super tangly. oh me and angeline were laughing at this girl, p2 i think, super cute lah. she didnt do anything but we will just laugh when she dance. quite mean lah, but hey! she didnt want to tell me her name, so i called her bu zhi dao since she wanted it :D
the performance went on quite well i guessed. then we went back dance studio and listen to jianglaoshi talk. oh angeline showed me her finger..looks horrible! then err... me and angeline got some biscuits from alumni room. as usual, mamee. oh this time they have this healthy nice biscuit too :D aiya mamee is like the trademark biscuit for our dance grp alrd cos jiang laoshi always and ONLY buy that for us to eat. the jnrs were jealous we got that (: hah! cos jianglaoshi love us more. yeah :D oh kidding lah. haha oh right! there was this jnr who was damn sweet :D haha she said sth abt me. aiya okay i am not i know.. but nvm :D at least she said i was. and the jnrs found my hp interesting. okay mind me for going jnrs here and there without proper names cos there were quite some and i dont know all names lah! btw ah..i got new names lor. thanks to angeline they call me sheenana, then shermaine decided to call me nana, and sometimes apple cos i said i like apple. aft that angeline went home then i was waiting for mei to finish the stuff. so me and shermaine became some toot ppl trying to take photo with our phone. haha! and her bluetooth is lousy.
aft that all the procedures and stuff are finally over. oh mei is in 1 caring. eh why not gracious ah! so sad. nvm then. anyway cf is becoming so healthy, they gave each of them ONE APPLE okay. i am jealous ): anyway ah. yuehong ahyi sae my sis look like me, and she was super amused. i dont think we look alike! but nvm. its SHE LOOK LIKE ME, not I LOOK LIKE HER :D
then we went to buy uniform. eh i am super angry okay, cos the drinks auntie refuse to believe i grew taller! and she gave me a weird look when i ask her what is the green thing. i know its lime juice i just want to confirm what! then she scold me for nv buying that from her. eh we all drink ribena when we are young okay! but anyway.. she gave me a lot more (: heh! then i saw uncle phua. i was so polite i called him and he wanted to box me. then he started questioning me why i was in sch! then aft that mr reis came and talk to me. i didnt know he cld recognize me. ohwells i am popular (: and i guess my sis is super small cos he cant see her and he thought i was queueing up to buy sch uniform for MYSELF for memory. and guess what..
my sister is in INNOVATION.
then we went home my ahma saw and she was like so amused cos she only see my excellence one before. then she say it looks nice with 2 colours, and she put the pe shirt side by side with mine. now i open the cupboard i see yellow and blue. right...why of all this colour lor. and i think nxt yr my bro will be a innovation boy too. eh i shld have ask mr reis to help me request to change to excellence right :D since he is the excellence teacher.
okay thats all! i think its long enough. i shall go study again. BYE :D
please dont let me get affected before eoys.
btw i was talking to chicken and i thought our convo was quite toot. it shows how stress we are. heres part of it! aft all the asking of hw..here come the crazy bit.
dance. cuppycakes (: says:
right! i am going to explode, i dont get a single thing. pff
YENJIN says:
what you mean!
dance. cuppycakes (: says:
think i going to die for eoys things to study lor. i am like half know half dunno
YENJIN says:
ME TOO CAN
YENJIN says:
dont know why i so scared can
YENJIN says:
and i everyday study le and still very scared
YENJIN says:
and last year so slack then not scared at all
dance. cuppycakes (: says:
ya lah!
last yr i study like 2 wks before
dance. cuppycakes (: says:
now i study so much earlier and i still scared. bleah
YENJIN says:
yeah la!
YENJIN says:
thats why!
dance. cuppycakes (: says:
eeyer. so scary lah. its like abt 2 weeks. i think i will mug until i die and all the hair drop lor!
YENJIN says:
yeah la!
YENJIN says:
very scared!
dance. cuppycakes (: says:
haha relax man! at least u feather drop still look okay, i hair drop very kong bu lor
YENJIN says:
whateer!><
dance. cuppycakes (: says:
haha!
dance. cuppycakes (: says:
i always see u without feathers in supermarket and market!
YENJIN says:
AHHAHA
YENJIN says:
what a loser statement!
dance. cuppycakes (: says:
erhem! its quite a well-known truth and fact u know
YENJIN says:
i dont know!
dance. cuppycakes (:
says: haha then make a trip to the supermarket now. the frozen food section. or u can go market, even fresher (:
YENJIN says:
HAHAH NO THANKS>
dance. cuppycakes (: says:
hahaha! no wonder u dunno lah. ask u go see u oso dont want
YENJIN says:
hhahah you damn stupid lor!
YENJIN says:
so crap!
dance. cuppycakes (: says:
eh no lah!
YENJIN; stupid little PATHETIC thing(: says:
admit it man!
dance. cuppycakes (: says:
actl u dont go oso good, later u cry when u see ur fellow chickens like this! then will affect eoys
YENJIN; stupid little PATHETIC thing(: says:
hahah yeah lor(:
dance. cuppycakes (: says:
haha yeah. so DONT ever go near any supermarket or market before eoys, not good for u
dance. cuppycakes (: says:
if u need anything tell me i help u go buy (: dont ying ying lai!
YENJIN; stupid little PATHETIC thing(: says:
HAHAHA
YENJIN; stupid little PATHETIC thing(: says:
can la you can go!
YENJIN; stupid little PATHETIC thing(: says:
then you can help me buy free things (:
YENJIN; stupid little PATHETIC thing(: says:
HOHO
dance. cuppycakes (: says:
ehh actl ur things very easy but wad
dance. cuppycakes (: says:
buy rice for u to eat, then can last u long. unless u want worms as well?
YENJIN; stupid little PATHETIC thing(: says:
no la!
YENJIN; stupid little PATHETIC thing(: says:
i want chocolates(:
YENJIN; stupid little PATHETIC thing(: says:
ahah sheena phua
(haha then all the you-should-not-know stuff)
YENJIN; stupid little PATHETIC thing(: says:
you should be happy that you stood up to your conscience and was brave in telling them off
YENJIN; stupid little PATHETIC thing(: says:
if it was me i wont even dare
dance. cuppycakes (: says:
HAHA duh (: i am brave. now u know. not too late
dance. cuppycakes (: says:
i know u scared they catch u and cook u into chicken rice right!
YENJIN; stupid little PATHETIC thing(: says:
WAH LAO =.=
YENJIN; stupid little PATHETIC thing(: says:
im not a chicken(:
dance. cuppycakes (: says:
haha ya lah. chicku right!
YENJIN; stupid little PATHETIC thing(: says:
NO!
dance. cuppycakes (: says:
haha okay lah! but too bad. i sae alone does not help, everyone saes u r chicken (:
YENJIN; stupid little PATHETIC thing(: says:
hoo
YENJIN; stupid little PATHETIC thing(: says:
we shall see(:
dance. cuppycakes (: says:
haha! dont lah
dance. cuppycakes (: says:
later u lose then u sad (:
YENJIN; stupid little PATHETIC thing(: says:
wont la!
dance. cuppycakes (: says:
HAHAH! okay lah. at most i give u counselling if u sad. or bring u to the zena person (:
YENJIN; stupid little PATHETIC thing(: says:
EEE
dance. cuppycakes (: says:
hahaha (: dont u think she is so gentle and nice
YENJIN; stupid little PATHETIC thing(: says:
too soft spoken until so boring can,
dance. cuppycakes (: says:
i think she is inspiring leh
YENJIN; stupid little PATHETIC thing(: says:
okay la.
YENJIN; stupid little PATHETIC thing(: says:
haha.
dance. cuppycakes (: says:
haha okay lah! then i help u call tinkle friend (:
YENJIN; stupid little PATHETIC thing(: says:
AHAHAHHAHA
YENJIN; stupid little PATHETIC thing(: says:
my sister call before leh!
YENJIN; stupid little PATHETIC thing(: says:
she thought is call to make friends!
dance. cuppycakes (: says:
huh rly ah! for what
dance. cuppycakes (: says:
walao...
dance. cuppycakes (: says:
make friend with tinkle (:
YENJIN; stupid little PATHETIC thing(: says:
hahha yeah la.
YENJIN; stupid little PATHETIC thing(: says:
DAMN stupid!1
dance. cuppycakes (: says:
err. ur sis very interesting
dance. cuppycakes (: says:
maybe u can go make friends with tinkle too
dance. cuppycakes (: says:
eh!!! u didnt close the convo right! u want send me the whole convo
dance. cuppycakes (: says:
i think its so interesting i want to post on my blog (:
YENJIN; stupid little PATHETIC thing(: says:
WAH LAO.
YENJIN; stupid little PATHETIC thing(: says:
like that also can?
YENJIN; stupid little PATHETIC thing(: says:
okay
YENJIN; stupid little PATHETIC thing(: says:
dont talk le
YENJIN; stupid little PATHETIC thing(: says:
i save now!
DANCER
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
Friday, September 15, 2006
♥
-10:58 PM i am feeling quite sleepy but high now. was playing audition and i thought if my realife dance is like this how horredous it wld be cos i cant get some of the beat. dont say i am beat deaf okay! hmph.
eh today its just another normal last day of sch of the week except that i didnt go cca cos of choral and drama and i had to upload the website which took me like 1000 years and i still didnt upload it. in the end i lost hope and sent a email to ms ang and she say i can show her on tues. aiya had i known i wld have sent her earlier. pfff.. i feel bad for missing cca though its optional ): OHGOD!
today is just another day, and actually it was quite slack except that maths was a bit tense up.. heh. then langarts mrs koh went through format of test and gave us 15 min to write our compo. haha like duh not the whole thing but she wants to see how fast we are. i had loads of inspiration okay! oh and i passed my lang arts :D claps for me!! then chinese was SLACK. so i ended up doing some of maths instead xp heh sry lah but i have to use quality time (: then lunch had patrol duty. then i got pissed..or rather dissapointed or whatever lah with *********. dont ever try to guess this word cos u cant make it for sure. unless i told u what happen. i just dont know what to say. all i can say is i am doing what i am supposed to do.
then we had science. i was feeling super upset, then ms toot toad manage to make me laugh throughout the whole lesson :D and i was feeling super cold thanks to the rain and guess what.. I DIDNT BRING MY JACKET. pff again! anyway i was super amused by ms toot toad marks :D to think she still can laugh, if it was me i wld have become a mute for the whole day okay. well there is just ppl like her who is always so positive.
then aft sch we had choral and drama night prac cos mon is the filming for the audition. whether we get in or not depends all on this. eva was not there so i acted with sarah. eh we have quite some mo qi okay. at least sarah dont start laughing when she sees me -.- and we came up with this new line..
eva: oh my darling sweetie cutie (or whatever, those long chunk of sweet words) that girl you saw was my cousin, i swear, see what i bought you? a snowman figurine that looks JUST like you, so cute and lovable
me: right! and you mean i have a figure like it so ROUND?
then some ppl started laughing...goodness. i thought i was quite dumb x) anyway i was quite glad our timing is getting better and almost all things are done except those doors. i rly feel like going over to the boy's territory to DEMAND.. haha okay lah. to plead for the doors ):
so aft sch i was stuck at the IT thing for so long and huiying and yenjin were the only souls in the class, and guess what. me and chicku got the same mp3 (: both as bdae present. cool right :D
aft that i got home with twinnie, on the bus was quite quiet, except she showed me her eyelash datalog which rly.. amuse me. then she started playing with my phone cos i didnt feel like talking and she was bored. eh sorry ah twinnie cos like u know, the headache is abt to kill me. oh and yenjin say i look pale today, twinnie sae i look ABIT aft i asked her. then zihui say i looked yellow-.- i went home to look and realise, i do look abit pale. eh why ah? i feel okay leh. i hope nth is wrong with my skin.
oh i have a feeling i am falling sick soon, and if i rly do, twinnie shld know the reason best. thanks to someone..grr. btw i realise twinnie have a super strechable stomach. u shld have heard what she sae she ate.
this song just keep ringing in my mind, sorry:
DANCER
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
Thursday, September 14, 2006
♥
-4:59 PM yeah i am smelling nice now :D i feel fresh! cos i have been dragging myself home from sch ALONE thx to the boring and sleepy day. i was just scrolling arnd and i saw the 2 songs from winter sonata. so i decided to listen to them. but haoting is taking a long time to load..so my room feels quiet. eeyer.
okay the song is playing. eh its so emo. ohgod, no good. but its nice. i shall not think too much :D and twinnie! i have sth proud to tell you. i didnt let my thoughts run wild when i was going home alone :D i know u r proud of me right. heh! and i know i can continue to do it even though i am playing this super sad song now and i am all alone at home. eh this song remind me of winter sonata and sad love story. i feel like watching it now. no! i shall control. self-discipline. i will go and study once i finish blogging cos i am still enjoying my tea :D
eh stupid lah! the song is repeating and the woman who is talking at the front is irritating me cos of what she is saying. i shall learn to look on the bright side
anyway today lessons were quite boring, not boring but more of cirriculum one then those fun ones like music and dance. we had music. it was nth but a laughing session. huiying have 3 blueblacks on her leg cos she got hit by her own racket -.- then one of them is super huge it looks like moss grew on top okay! so me and huifun being nice people helped her rubbed and they turned red :D bound to heal soon, maybe tmr! thank us huiying. talking about huiying reminds me of the song. its so cute (: oh god i WILL post the lyrics up later. its so sweet. heh. thats why we are so into it.
we had drama practice during lunch. its overall quite okay alrd just that some of the props are not settled yet and EVA SEAH PLS RMB TO GIVE ME MY ANTIQUE VASE! u always forget that line. and dont forget u said u wil buy me a real vase :D
chinese was quite fun cos apparently me and melissa were doing stupid stuffs all the while. first we drew loads of weird faces and melissa is the loser (: then we started this toad thing.. and she became the TOOT TOAD while i am the TOAD TOOT. like whatever! she wanted to call me TOOTY TOAD. i think TOAD TOOT sounds better :D she even wrote that on our table okay. toot lah! then she gave me this cert and i wanted to give her back too. and... haha! u dont need to know what happen but her newspaper ended up with the so called 9 stitches. and guess what. ms TOOT TOAD laughed over that for so long which made me laughed too. lilaoshi kept looking over. luckily she didnt scold us. heh x)
cuppycakes :D
You're my Honeybunch, Sugarplum, Pumpy-umpy-umpkin
You're my Sweetie Pie
You're my Cuppycake Gumdrop, Snoogums-Boogums
You're the Apple of my Eye
And I love you so and I want you to know
That I'll always be right here
And I love to sing sweet songs to you
Because you are so dear
DANCER
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
♥
-9:31 PM i feel super inspired now! i dont know why too. i was just thinking abt today talk on the resilient and i realised i have a GROWTH MINDSET :D okay not totally but most of the time. heh. and i sort of got enlightened a lot aft the whole talk. i think its super inspiring (: resilient!
okay its nth much today except... OH PE! right pe..i got smack by clara lum on the butt thousand times and once she even smack my hand, now there is injury there. CLARALUM! hmph. i shall complain to patrick and patrick will stop being nice to her :D we played...four against four okay! like four. or rather four against five, cos sarah team had five. bleah! it was super dumb. the whole thing was like a laughing game rather than a badminton game.
oh then drama. the malay thing was super funny. and eva seah cant stp laughing. for whatever reason lah! she is feeling kind of high. maybe she is inspired by LARRY like me :DD haha! talking abt larry. TWINNIE! larry is nice okay. pls start to appreciate him and stp discriminating him. larry is gay and happy (: gay as in happy, not GAY! and pls stp ur nonsense speech in the morning cos it does no good, i will keep laughing non stp, hen xin ku okay!
then lunch we had meeting. actl mrs wong just talked about 'yourself' this topic. about how we shld portray and hold ourself etc. and she rmbed me. whether its positive or negative, i was super shocked when i heard it. ohwells lets hope its sth good. though there is nth good abt me lah :D
then HUIYING! the one whom i am pissed with :D got super excited over the strawberry shortcake song. its cute i know (: that song is rly cute okay. makes u smile and laugh non stp :D super sweet. heh
oh no good. i just saw YOUR photo. anyway ah. this is super random but i just thought about you again on my way home on the bus. i oso dunno why. there was this guy playing the 'i believe' song, then i thought about u. like u just pop out in my mind. then follow by him. and the worse thing is, I DUNNO WHY ITS HIM and not others. sth is not right. but anyway.. aft the talk, i decided i shld look at it from another manner. its time to bounce back from this thing, i have been stuck at it for long enough. 2 yrs. its going to be hard but i know i will.. i decide i shall not see it as a dark ending, but a colourful journey in my life that i may never have gone through.
dont be upset it ended, be glad it happened.
DANCER
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
♥
-5:36 PM okay i saw ur post. i guess what u said sort of enlightened me and woke me up. maybe i was really stubborn and refuse to think i am in more wrong. i guess i have to apologise for that. somewhat ur post manage to make me do a reflection on my way home, and i was just thinking, yeah right, maybe because u treated me as friend thats why u bothered to tell me off to make me stp this mistake. i sincerely thank u for waking me up and realising how 'its-all-about-me' my attitude was. mrs koh talked abt resilience today, and it made me realise how not resilience i was. cos apparently i cld feel a little sense of fright when i see you and even..her? i dunno issit because of ur post, ur unhappiness to me, or issit that i am guilty. but no matter what, i decided i shall rebounce back and stp wallowing in sorrow or telling ppl i am pissed but do nth about it. its time to do some self reflection and also, to stp this whole not talking thing cos i feel weird too. its nv so long that i didnt talk to u, i cld recall i didnt talk to u for the whole day ytd and like only 5 lines today? well i looked at my post as well, i think i was harsh then, and i saw u complaining to her today, whether issit abt me, i still want to sae sorry. but u know what? i wld be even happier if u cld at least tell me what u r so unhappy abt me, in face? or msn i dont care. but anyway, i thank u for making me wake up from all these, and i hope the friendship dont just end here by this thing. i am serious okay! i guess nobody see flaws in themselves and always think they are right, i admit sometimes i am like this too. and thats why i feel so wronged when u sae that. so here i sae sorry to everyone whom i pissed and BIG THANK U to u. i am not being sacarstic, thank u (: and this song is specially dedicated to 2nd half of 2/7, cos thats the song that kept ringing in my mind and i feel super irritated if i dont show it to you all. esp you...
All about us
They say don't trust you me we us
So we'll fall if we must
Cause it's you and me
And it's all about
It's all about us (all about us)
It's all about (all about us)
All about us
That's a theme that they can't touch '
Cause you know what
It's all about us (all about us)
It's all about (all about us)
All about us
Run away if we must '
Cause you know what
It's all about us (it's all about us)
It's all about lies (it's all about us)
You the one I can trust (it's all about us)
It's all about us
If they hurt you they hurt me too
So we'll rise up won't stop
And it's all about
It's all about
It's all about us (all about us)
It's all about (all about us)
All about us
That's a theme that they can't touch '
Cause you know what
It's all about us (all about us)
It's all about (all about us)
All about us
Run away if we must '
Cause you know what
It's all about us (it's all about us)
It's all about lies (it's all about us)
You the one I can trust (it's all about us)
It's all about us
They don't know
They can't see
Who we are
Fear is the enemy
Hold on tight
Hold on to me
'Cause tonight
It's all about us I
t's all about (all about us)
That's a theme that they can't touch
'Cause you know what
It's all about us (all about us)
It's all about (all about us)
All about us
Run away if we must
'Cause you know what
It's all about us (it's all about us)
It's all about lies (it's all about us)
You the one I can trust (it's all about us)
It's all about us
It's all about us (it's all about us)
It's all about lies (it's all about us)
You the one I can trust (it's all about us)
It's all about us
It's all about us
and u make me realise its the last thing with 2/7, 2nd half, lets work hard cos its about us. we wont destroy the name of 2/7 drama.
anyway this was the post i saved this afternoon, somewhat huiying hoped that i post it. hah! i find ourself super dumb.
hello everyone. i am just here to announce that I AM PISSED WITH HUIYING! the aim of this post is to apply what i just learned from lang arts and oso to express my piss to huiying. i am pissed with huiying because i am pissed with people who laugh non stop and refuse to let me get piss with her. we can see that huiying laughed non stp from the journey from 2 seven to the com lab and we can see that she refuse to let me get piss with her from the conversation which quotes " why are u pissed with me!" by huiying and oso " Sheena: i am pissed with u and i shall blog abt it. Huiying: STP IT!" from this we can see that huiying refuse to let me get pissed with her hence explaining why i am pissed with her. all this provide a good arguement as to why WE shld be pissed with huiying and here i shall end my coherent and SEE paragraph. thank u everyone ((: i know huiying feel hurt but nvm. i shall let her express her thoughts now HUIYING: AWWWW I FEEL SO SADD!!!!! ))))))))'=
DANCER
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
Monday, September 11, 2006
♥
-9:52 PM I AM DAMN PISSED NOW! and i am serious. this is the worst thing that can ever happen cos i have been pissed since morning till now. let me tell u, i know this is not just abt me. its abt us. and u know, i dont think u freaking care too. cos apparently i think my reason is more valid than yours, and who give u the right to criticize me when u yourself arent anywhere better. u know what? i dont think u dared to do that if i had not told u i was going to cos apparently u still seem to be able to go on that day when i told u i cant. and if ur reason was so valid then let me ask u, u promised to go for which first? at least i told ON THAT DAY itself i had sth on, and u? like aft u promised them u cld? u shld go do some self reflection too okay.
its not just abt criticizing me, i dont mind u doing that. at least i DO know what u r unhappy abt, but let me tell u this, if u do realise, i am not the only one. and have u tried asking others why they couldnt make it? cos apparently u only manage to find out why i cld not go so u criticize me, right? why not find something else to do, like find out why others cld not? maybe they had more ridiculous reason! and i think mine is much better than urs. u know sometime its not just abt how U feel, cos u shld do some self reflection too and think if U shld feel that way. and guess what, the organiser herself didnt go, why wont u blame her? cos u r not close to her and she is not as nice to bully? or what! or do u just want to run me down in front of others. if thats ur aim that let me tell u CONGRATS u manage to. are u happy now? apparently i dont know how i ever offended u but i seriously think ur attitude sucks too. u think u r great? u think u contribute a lot? then ask urself, how many times have u let ur cca down.. go think abt it. and now let me tell u this, it not only concern u, it concern the WHOLE cca. go think abt it.
and let me tell u this. a BLOG is meant to be online diary. and what is a diary for? to let u express ur feels and thoughts, to make u let out ur emotions so that u wont breakdown someday, not a stage for u to act happy and excited the whole day. everyone have their sad and happy moments, i am a human too and i have emotions as well. i cant possibly be smiling and laughing whole day, if i do, i must be a super POSER or a LUNATIC. and do u expect me to tell u abt how sad i feel? well.. even if i tell u u wont understand, and do u expect me to confide it all to just someone or everyone, somewhat some feelings just cant be expressed. so i used the blog. is this SO scandalous? let me tell u this, if u dont feel like reading, skip that paragraph, or u can jolly well just leave this place and come back to read when i post sth happy. if u want to read, then pls just shutup if u feel pissed cos its my diary and my feelings. cant i express it? its not assif i am doing any harm to u right? maybe u have not gone through this, thats why u dont know how miserable it is, i just hope one day when u do this, no one will sae that of u, cos i know u will feel really hurt. btw. i dunno if i am supposed to feel glad that u come to my blog? cos u seem to know everything in my blog but apparently no tags or whatever, if u want to be a mysterious person who comes here, please continue being mysterious and dont make a noise.
i am seriously disappointed in you. i really treated u as a friend, but i dont think i can ever confide in you anymore, cos apparently u dont seem trustworthy to me. i am sorry if u think i am running you down but what u did really disgusted me and make me very irritated. actually, i dunno why i cld feel the tears welling up too when i think abt what u say. maybe its because i trusted u so much and now that i see how u r behaving, i am really disappointed. i dont mean u cant get upset with me and my actions but pls, think abt what u r doing at the moment before u run me down and criticize me. i rly thought u were a nice person, a good friend, one who cares, but i guess that was all act. actl to tell u the truth this is not the first time i am so disappointed in you, and i know its not the first time u run me down, but i always accept it cos ur reasons are so valid and u make me reflect on my actions, but this time, i cant cos i think u need more reflection than i do, at least i dont let my cca and FAMILY down. and i hope u know why i sae family. okay maybe in ur eyes u didnt let ur family down, but what abt cca? dont tell me u dont. if u sae u dont, go search ur soul, and i hope u find the true ans and stp deceiving urself. know what? i really hoped i dont know all these, cos i dont wish to change my impression of u. even though we still wld be friends, but i guess that part of trust is gone and hard to get back again, cos its not the first time and this time, i am rly disappointed. somewhat i feel that i have just lost a good friend on a sunday night when i saw that.. its rly hurting if u dunno.
okay whether u see that or not, i just wish to say it. anyway lets talk abt sth happier than. actl its nth much. i just feel super stalked these few daes. like ytd we went to the china ambassador thing, then performed. and btw, the journey on the bus back to sch was super horrendous, i think i almost had concusion cos the bus was so super jerky i cld not even rest properly on the seat. then winny spied my hp and read my msg! haha fine its nth much. i know i cld trust her (: then angeline said that she didnt like shanchin. aww! haha fine, everyone have their own feel. then we went to northpoint. we went to macs and i had lemon lime juice. somewhat i am very into this drink recently, esp lime juice. its freshens u up okay (: esp when i am in a so dead mood aft laughing and playing the whole night before sun with hern and jialing. so i guess limejuice does magic cos i was super awake then (: and we started creating a farm, angeline went through lots of stages in life before she became a pony. she was a cockroach, then a caterpillar, then centipede, then cow, then changed with winny to be a cat and finally a pony. i am a nice poodle (: haha fine! thats sound spastic but poodle are linked with PINK so its kind of cool i guess (: then we went to take neos cos winny wanted and that was when we felt stalked by this all black grp of guys. like from head to toe all black. its like where we go, we see them, winny was super freaked out okay. but angeline being kind of slow and dead did not realise it. and once winny said they whistled when we walked past but i didnt hear. like whatever, not good and cool enough to catch my attention (: HEH! loser! okay i sound mean, but i was glad they didnt follow us home.
btw i am proud of myself. i manage to make the lousy scanner work and i was damn pissed at first, esp with shanchin trying to irritate me in the msn convo! i rly feel like boxing him but i rmb sandy sae we shld not be bad to MR CHINNIE SHAN. or whatever it is. haha.
then today everything was okay except i was kindof.. upset. but luckily there was dance with LAOSHI :D and eva was super nice to me today. heh. apparently i am not pms-y towards her (: i feel damn guilty if i was. heh. then eh.. i guess i ate truckloads today cos i just stuff a lot of guava into my mouth. out of point! anyway i went home with sandy then. then there was this sick man who keeps looking at sandy and i just cant stp laughing! haha then sandy sat his seat x) oh i manage to make sandy and bailu feel dumb! HAH (: so on the bus me and sandy were talking abt her mr chinnie again! aiya i feel better calling him shanchin. then we went to macs cos someone felt excited and hungry. she shld be glad there was still time before the tuition. so went there and i sat opposite this grp of cchy guys. which apparently is SUPER GAY u shld have ask sandy what happen. i guess they thought i am interested in them or sth. like WHATEVER! i was super irritated when i left. then on the bus i was training my abs cos apparently i laughed for like then 5 to 10 min journey? haha LARRY IS LOVABLE OKAY (: LOVABLE LARRY. alliteration! we can put the flower in the pot then the sun will shine on it. oh god! i shall go and prepare the test for sandy now. LARRYLARRY! EVERYONE LOVES LARRY (: i feel super high now. i shall go get more food to make myself settle cos when i eat a lot, i will feel guilty and get super quiet. heh! oh ahma make dumplings. coolman!
DANCER
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
Saturday, September 09, 2006
♥
-4:08 PM 
its 2 hrs more before i leave home for causeway to meet bailu and jialing to go victoria theatre. we are having dinner together. i wonder what are they going to eat but i feel so full cos i ate a 1001 food today. but talking abt food, its nth compared to twinnie ytd. u will freak out upon knowing what she ate.
so.. yesterday i went to np mac to study with twinnie from 9 to 6. hurhur. but its so obvious we are not studying throughout the whole thing lah cos u see.. its two of us. half the time we are rotting away. but still. i am quite proud of my work (: then we met matthias there. sandy finds the friend cute, i think the friend is super funny can! oh i dont like the zui quan person cos i find her face irritating. fine i am sorry.. so thats we did. oh ya! we called shanchin, or rather, we tried. and i realised we tried 11 times, but his loser phone is never on so we dont know abt the result yet. i hope they win sth (: okay then we took loads of photos too. apparently twinnie is editting some but she didnt send to me, and i manage to transfer my phone one to the com (:
see how hardworking i am :D 
the big slacker of the year :P
twins love (:
magic of my life :D 
and this is specially for you
ohwells, its just not the same anymore. even the way we talk. its like, even when we talk, sth seem to be between us that we can talk like how we used to. when u asked sth abt me, u chose to ask her instead of me when i was just there. am i that scary? i didnt ignore you okay! its more like u r avoiding me. but ohwells, i guess it may be better like this. cos the awkwardness will stp us from talking, it wld be better if we stp talking right.
one over and there comes the other. i hope u really didnt appear at 288. like what he said, or if you did, i hope ur purpose there was not like what HE said. whether u have really been there or not, i hope you stp doing that cos it can change nth. its not that i am rly against u or what, and its even more not abt her.. its abt me. somewhat i just dont feel right when i do that, and the feel is not right too. somewhat the essential thing there seems to be gone, so stp these foolish actions, whether u rly did it or u intend to do it. but i hope none of it was ever true, cos it wld make me feel nth but bad. she has been talking abt u, and i know she didnt mean it but u see, no one feels good when we talk abt it but that seems to be the easiest thing to talk abt. i didnt mean to feel or look so irritated, but i just cant help it cos i dont like to talk abt it. she say i was harsh and bad to you, if i am then i am sorry. i dont think i sound any nicer to him, do i? if yes then i rly apologise but i just hope you wld not go on with this. i am serious, and whether its true or not, i am still sry.
DANCER
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
Monday, September 04, 2006
♥
-10:57 PM hello sad blog. i am back..again. because daddy is only going overseas tmr so i get to use you again. are u feeling sad? cos you have to tolerate my stupid character and my endless flow of how miserable i feel. but too bad. u cant run away. cos u r the only one i can confide to apart from twinnie. and i know how miserable u feel as well.. i pity u.
well i guess i shld try posting all the bad stuff first so that i will feel better later when i end with the happy? things. well its nth much..its just that. today i was telling twinnie a lot of stuff on the bus. throughout the whole journey i was talking, they were all funny and happy stuff, but indirectly linked to those ppl, which indirectly link to..ohwell. then i told twinnie abt the conversation and the consolation you gave.. twinnie say u r a sweet and nice person. i think so too, but i hope you are not one. i hope u wld just tease me and make fun of me like what u did aft that, cos it wld make me feel better than. at least u will sound like you dont care.. but again, i somewhat hoped that u do care. and when you do care, i hope you dont. i know i always do that, when this happen i hope for that, when that happen i hope for this, i nv ever learn to treasure even aft i have lose sth i treasured most. can someone pls return it back to me.. cos it has been gone so long and i cant find it back again..
its so irritating! i want to blk the whole world now. cos everyday i wld see at least one of u online. i dont want to see anyone. i want to live alone. at least like this i wont lose sth and regret it for life, at least like this i wont have to speak to anyone abt it, at least like this i will not lose anything, at least like this i wont see you, and i wont feel the guilt and sadness anymore. cos like this i need not be blamed anymore for anything that happen, i wont need to face you and feel like i let the whole world down, cos i can just tell the whole world openly i did nth wrong, anyway i am all alone..
i dont wish to be seen as the one who broke it, i dont wish to be seen as the one who came in btw, i dont wish to be seen as the extra one, and the bad one. i nv once want to hurt anyone, and whenever twinnie talk abt u. i can see it in her eyes, i can hear it in her tone, i know she is feeling worst than anyone else, and when i heard it come out from her mouth, abt the other girl, and when she told me abt ur nick, i feel so bad to her. now i feel bad to her as well, cos its hard to not talk abt u when she talk to me and the others, and when she was asked abt ur nick, i wonder how she answered it. will u pls stp this and tell the truth.. and i am sorry twinnie. whenever i see you cry, u make me feel sad too ): i am really sorry for all ur misery, whether u still feel it for him or just guilt, i am still sorry. sometime i hope u r not always there for me, cos when u r, it makes me feel so bad to make u listen to me when u urself is alrd so miserable. and u always listen to me while u keep things to urself, and when u cry i cld do nth much except stand there and sae dont cry, i know i am quite useless. i just received ur sms saying happy talking and good night with a smiley. i dunno how to reply u. to say i am not happy talking? or not? in fact i am not. but given ur character i know u wld feel guilty if i say i am not, when the problem dont lie with u. u r just like this, always thinking abt others before self. if only u were a selfish twinnie ): cant u be a bit more selfish?
this is so terrible, cos apparently those tears are flowing down like dunno what and daddy is just at the other side of the room. everyone is always so nice, unlike me..horrible person who brings nth but troubles. even those who i let down, who i make feel miserable are nice to me. pls ppl, scold me now.. dont be so nice to me, cos i am so not worth it. fine i dont wish to continue anymore. goodbye. i know if its not u blog, it will be twinnie, i am sorry twinnie i make u listen to me, and sorry blog i always use you to say it, somethings are better kept within self. but with u and twinnie arnd, its quite hard... if only nice ppl dont exist. and you! stp telling me both of u can only be friends, cos i hope both of you wld be more than just friends. STP TELLING ITS JUST FRIENDS!
a lot of happy things happened, but they dont seem to be able to fight those water from the eyes. i shld try...okay NUMBER 1. we had dance.. laoshi praised me sometimes (: hoho and lianghui made me laughed. and laoshi told me what i shld improved too. then suikim made me laugh too. everyone smiled to me and talked to me, nth bad happen. happy? no effect. fine..number 2. we had lessons in sch. remedial for history, ms koh said a lot of stories, qianqian weiyi added some colours to my phone. i got to know a new parrot. nth bad happen, i even got to enjoy free aircon. happy? fine number 3. we had choral and drama night practise. a time with classmates, my nice and frenly classmates, we laughed and joked, happy? okay nth else. i guessed its sth quite happy, i listed out 3..
okay i shall dedicate a paragraph to twinnie, though she wanted a post, i feel too lazy to post then post again. sry twinnie, i know i am bad to you. anyway i just want to say thank u for always being there for me these few yrs, i rly didnt regret knowing u and i wonder what will happen to me one day without u by my side. i was just wondering, if i didnt know u 7 yrs ago, what wld become of me now. most probably i wont have so much colours and laughter in my life, i wld be a lonely soul who goes home alone, a pathetic girl who got no one to talk to. u have been a most precious treasure in my life, even the world's most precious gem cannot compare to u, and i was glad get to know you. life has been most fun and colourful with you arnd, cos u nv fail to make me smile when i am bored, make me laugh when i feel sad, make me feel loved with ur retarded sms, make me entertained with ur phonecalls, make me feel not lonely when i take the bus, make me feel impt when u wait for me so long just for cca to end, make me feel treasured when u sit with me in macs, make me feel great when u listen to my nonsensical nonsense. twinnie i just want to say, I LOVE YOU! i seriously hope we wld still be together even till all our teeths drop, then we will sit on the swing together to watch the world if both of us are too tired to walk, and we will hold on to each other, support each other, there wld be no need for walking sticks.
DANCER
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
Sunday, September 03, 2006
♥
-11:49 PM hello blog. i think u will be glad to hear this, mummy and daddy are both going to be overseas soon, which means i wont be back here so often, which means u need not be needed to show my misery anymore. u must be feeling terrible and irritated to see what i typed in you everyday right, actually.. i am sick of it too. ohwells, its a break for u then, i shall type it for now or else it wld be a long time before i type in you again.
again..today i feel not right. the worst part was the journey to cf, when i was alone on the train. and even when i try to keep myself so occupied at cf by dancing and dancing, i still could not get it out of my mind. whats worse, after hearing winny, i felt even worse. actually, i envy her, at least she is not the one to feel guilty. fine i am so bad.. i actl envy her for that.
last night..we talked again. once again, your concern came flying to me and i cld see the caring you in my mind.. somewhat, you understand how i felt. somewhat, you seem like the only person in the whole world who can console me properly and make me feel it. that one line..that one line from you, its that one line that rly make my heart drop. why can you understand? if onyl you dont understand, if only you scolded me for doing sth wrong, instead of saying that line, if only you said i deserve it. if only you were like the past, where u wld make fun of me and make me feel bad, but somewhat u always know when to show the real concern and when to make fun. if only you dont know when to.. i wld have feel better. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND AND SAY THAT!! I DONT LIKE IT! do you know...
then tonight. i see both of you online.. one stayed long..one went off soon. well, i guess it was good, rather than you talk to me and i start thinking abt 7 yrs ago. and now you come again..and go.. twinnie told me YOU are in china, what on earth are u doing on my online list. i want to disappear now! cos u were online for so long... but now that i want to see you online, you are gone.. thats what you are...come and go...appear and disappear.. in my world..in my heart..in my mind..in my life.
i am sorry...i really am.. and i hope you know it..
DANCER
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
Saturday, September 02, 2006
♥
-10:34 PM i have a lot to say! fine i am not really so excited. anyway we had the cf ex-student gathering today and i guess it was quite...screwed? i admitted i was quite bored too even though i was walking arnd cos no one is interacting! needless say those others. many ppl left before it ended and it ended before time. anyway i was damn pissed by SHANCHIN! i feel like smacking him man. but nvm he is quite nice lah i must say (: except he mocked at me because i had to sell tickets. then i saw daniel. as usual he made fun of me. clara say she wanted to smack his head. how i wished she did! but luckily he left early (: but before he left, he still made fun of me. its quite glad to know that i wont see him until new year (: or maybe i wont see him during new yr too ((: oh btw ah i passed yiyin her tickets and i heard from dunno who she is happy abt that? she said i diao her on thurs WHEN I DIDNT. i am so scared of her can! then xinying made me wave to her which made her quite happy i guessed.
anyway nth much happen except it was quite screwed i guessed. twinnie cried. i guess she was troubled over that again. sigh! OH. i was forced to smile to shanchin cos he said i looked fierce when i took the paper from him so i did a curtsey and say thankyou to him can! for whatever reason i was very polite and i think his huaping friend was very amused. BLEAH! i was forced to. and what made me most awkward was... i saw him. as in its not abt seeing him. cos i see him often but he told me to talk to him and i didnt. well i guessed he cld sense i was quite busy cos i was walking here and there. but he kept staring. do i look weird?
then i saw kaisheng. HE SLIMED DOWN CAN! haha i think i am so clever cos i cld recognize him when clara his classmate cld not (: ohoh! sth happen btw winny and the s (: HAHA! its so super funny. no one expected him to be so ZIDONG. i took a picture of it. too bad my screwed phone cannot send it to winny. but i took one with winny phone and it was quite blur. oh then i left before the whole thing ended. i feel sorry and guilty ):
me and sandy wanted to go buy sweet but the loser shop was closed so we didnt manage to buy ): then that whole gang was sitting outside and he was staring again. as in not stare but i cld see his eyes looking over at times. dont ask me why i cld see cos it so happen that i look there he looked back. then sandy said she had to go toilet so we went in sch and i waited for her at the gate. then shanchin came to mock at me again! he said i was lonely. i am so not okay! i am being nice to wait for others. so sandy came back from toilet and we together with huiying went outside to sit again. as usual he is there. somewhat i feel weird when i see him. ohwells.
then kexin went home and eunice went with us to northpoint. then we walked and walked randomly cos eunice wanted to buy her cap but apparently the nice one was dirty so she didnt manage to buy. we went to buy bubble tea and i scare euniceching! haha i feel so accomplished okay (: the chocolate snowshake had tea taste so me and twinnie decided to dump it. then we just walk and walk until twinnie and huiying left. me and eunice then went to longjohns to eat. we shared a meal (: and bought this potato thing which tasted quite nice (: so we sat there for like 1 hr? eunice was telling me abt erhem...and this was our main topic for the day.
oh we saw songrong and friends and longjohn. i did a face at him. i guessed that was quite mean x) haha. i just felt like it. then i felt bad cos he is quite nice to me lah so i turned back again then he asked me why i did that, then i did it again and said i felt like it. i dunno why too. haha! but i know he wont get angry ((: eh but i said bye to him when i left okay! i am afterall not quite mean. then me and eunice went to macs to eat icecream. again we talk and talk. its quite amusing i cld talk to her abt such stuffs too. i was trying to persuade her not to be so mean and i hope she listens to me (:
then i went home alone.. thats the most saddening thing you can ever imagine. actually i think i am becoming more and more terrible cos apparently when people are around me, i thought of it too. i hope it doesn't overwhelmed and kill me someday. its really taking over everything in my mind. its like, even when i was walking abt with sandy huiying and eunice in np, i was thinking abt it too. i thought abt what twinnie told me when we were alone outside, i thought abt the dream last night, i thought abt the smses, i thought abt the past. twinnie told me i shld not feel guilty and sad towards this, but somewhat, i cant. i still feel guilty, even aft what twinnie said. i wished what she said was true, so i wont feel guilty, but somewhat i hoped its not true, cos..i dunno? twinnie said that was not sth i shld feel sad and guilty abt, but its the other one that i shld.
i rly dunno. its like, i still think abt the dream. its rly weird why it was you i dreamt of and not the other one. maybe because i was thinking abt you before i slept, because i saw you the day before and it brought back so many stuff, because twinnie told me abt what she felt abt you. i rly hoped what twinnie told me is not true, because i dont wish to have my view of you changed. somewhat i dont wish to think you are like this, though i once suspected. and when i suspect you, i feel bad again. if only you had not appear, and leave such a huge impact in my life.. i recalled the letter. even though it was a dream, i forced myself to slp just hoping to see what is in the letter, and the things in the letter was so sweet, yet it sound so unreal. well..wake up sheena cos its just a dream.. i guessed i am quite numb to this alrd cos i cld feel the misery and pain but the tears just wont flow. they refuse to get out, and i feel so stuffed up, if only i was like twinnie, life would have been better. i guess..its time to wake up.
the music is playing..the lyrics sing 'i never had a dream come true'..why this song i dunno too. somewhat i dont like this song. cos that night..it was this song playing. i thought abt twinnie words again. its you..you i shld feel sad, regret and guilty. ur impact had been a huge one. u were the one that made me shut the door, that made me hold on to sth for so long. ur appearance had changed everything. its like even if i didnt see you, only hearing them say, i cld feel the misery too. i wld think of that night. i feel liek the stupiest dumbest person on earth. and whats worse, i know u shld hate me. but the relationship between us now is so not right. i rather we nv talk again, but then, u r the only one who can understand me and make me smile. among all, u r stil the one. sometimes i ask myself, what do i really feel for you now.. and i cld never give myself an ans. whenever i thought of just as friends, they callin out ur name in front of me wld make me think of the past. i rly wish to tell u this, 'talk to me no more'. but i cant imagine the life without you cos if that day come, i wld never see the smile at night on me. cos u r the only one who wld stay with me till night, to allow me to confide, to make me feel i am not alone. but i know, u r no longer mine, and that is sth i wish i nv had to accept..
i feel so numb by the two of you when another one came. in fact on thur i saw you. but it was only a while, so it didnt affect me much, except made me feel kind of..weird. and today, its today, all about today. i suddenly feel so bad towards you. cos when u tried to talk o me, i run away, cos when u look at me, i turn away. and when i look again, when i want to talk again, you were not there. what has happen since then. its a diff story from p1 to now. sometimes i wonder if ur cheating me, but i just let myself get cheated. you are a story i hid deep down since p1, no one knew abt it, until today when i met you again. the story of p1 came back..its since p1. occasionally at night you appear, but dissappear so quickly again. you are just like a bubble, before i cld grab, you are gone. i so wish to tell twinnie abt you, but i am afraid..because its been so long, i know it wld bring so many things back i am scared i will just breakdown. even though i never mention abt you, but u r the one that made me feel most guilty towards. more than any of the two of them, cos u r the longest, and i can never make out what is the feeling i am feeling at the moment when i see you. somewhat, you are like a diary to me, because when i see you, i see my life seven years ago. i see the me seven years ago. because you are the only one i kept deep down, no one knew abt you, not even twinnie. i cld tell no one abt you, but feel it myself. and because its so long, its so hard and miserable to keep it to myself alone, but who can i tell.. twinnie is tired enough i know. why do both of us have to land up like this?
is this gathering supposed to be a entrance to the world of sadness, because the whole world seems to shut when we see each other. i thought of what angeline say.. i saw what winny typed. how much do i feel towards you..what do i feel towards you? like angeline says, many things are just but dreams, and the hardest thing is to wake up from it, esp when i am so tired by this now.
I AM A TERRIBLE PERSON! I AM THE WORST PERSON ON EARTH! and now.. i feel so numb..so numb.. someone pls wake me up..twinnie where are u when i need you most...
DANCER
Girlfriend
Girlfriend