Sunday, September 03, 2006
♥
-11:49 PM hello blog. i think u will be glad to hear this, mummy and daddy are both going to be overseas soon, which means i wont be back here so often, which means u need not be needed to show my misery anymore. u must be feeling terrible and irritated to see what i typed in you everyday right, actually.. i am sick of it too. ohwells, its a break for u then, i shall type it for now or else it wld be a long time before i type in you again.
again..today i feel not right. the worst part was the journey to cf, when i was alone on the train. and even when i try to keep myself so occupied at cf by dancing and dancing, i still could not get it out of my mind. whats worse, after hearing winny, i felt even worse. actually, i envy her, at least she is not the one to feel guilty. fine i am so bad.. i actl envy her for that.
last night..we talked again. once again, your concern came flying to me and i cld see the caring you in my mind.. somewhat, you understand how i felt. somewhat, you seem like the only person in the whole world who can console me properly and make me feel it. that one line..that one line from you, its that one line that rly make my heart drop. why can you understand? if onyl you dont understand, if only you scolded me for doing sth wrong, instead of saying that line, if only you said i deserve it. if only you were like the past, where u wld make fun of me and make me feel bad, but somewhat u always know when to show the real concern and when to make fun. if only you dont know when to.. i wld have feel better. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND AND SAY THAT!! I DONT LIKE IT! do you know...
then tonight. i see both of you online.. one stayed long..one went off soon. well, i guess it was good, rather than you talk to me and i start thinking abt 7 yrs ago. and now you come again..and go.. twinnie told me YOU are in china, what on earth are u doing on my online list. i want to disappear now! cos u were online for so long... but now that i want to see you online, you are gone.. thats what you are...come and go...appear and disappear.. in my world..in my heart..in my mind..in my life.
i am sorry...i really am.. and i hope you know it..
DANCER
Girlfriend
Girlfriend