Thursday, October 19, 2006
♥
-10:13 PM okay just had a major big conversation with CHUAHERNHERN. i think hernhern is quite enlightening a person lah :D and i am sorry everyone i used to label! eh i am rly apologetic okay. and i shall start the no-labelling campaign! and be infuential! if u let me catch u labelling i will council u on why u shld not until u stop labelling so u better stp labelling everyone. whether issit erhem (hern u know :D) or any other names u give to ppl!
okay so today was just another day. sec1 eoys activities was better thanks to the debrief ytd which brought up many problems for us to reconsider. everything was fun :D then me sarah and yenjin gorge down our food just to rush for drama cos they pushed it forward last minute. almost choked on the bread can! and sarah.. u shld not talk behind yenjin back xD tsk! haha. yenjin from today onwards i shall not call u chicken anymore! arent u glad :D then drama was all okay and mrs chitra was hilarious. aft which we had break and err..lots of things happen aft that. shall not say too much.
i am sorry if there was much trouble caused and there was even some wavering of decisions because of me. i know its a team thing. and the problem now is i dont know what is holding me back. maybe like what tianhui said, i think i am feeling something like her. well..who wont want a straight A? but its not totally academics that is stopping me, there is council, dance and my outside stuff as well. partly stress is causing the problem. because like what tianhui say.. our parents are not having high expectations, they are giving us freedom. and when u have too much freedom, you do not wish to disappoint them, thats why i set high expectations on myself, and this is partly holding me back. i know u may say at least i am free and yeah, i do think so too, thats why i dont know if i shld be appreciative of that or what. but i rly dont wish to disappoint them, and of course, the goals i set for myself. not only that, stress on the other hand is giving me trouble because it seem so huge if i am to take this nxt year considering we have project work as well, and there are many other things we have to fight for next year. i know you all will always be there for me, and thats what makes me most scared of. because u are always there, i feel very bad when i could not make it for something. esp when nxt yr its the dance exam, i guess my weekends are almost packed. and sch days recess and lunches are high chances of being unavailable, plus aft sch we practically do not have a common day to meet, even considering we may not be together like this yr where we have still have common times free. but still, i rly enjoyed this whole process, thats why i am still having second thoughts now. i rly want to do it, but i dont want to be there like a statue doing nth while u all are striving so hard just because of my own stuff when all of us do have our own stuff to do. and once again..sorry everyone for today. i know it caused much disturbance.
btw just to thank yenjin and weiyi for being there :D not forgetting jo for ur sweet tag! and eva for the "we will be there for you and we will help you if you rly cannot make it" in the canteen and the call just now. btw sry eva ): not forgetting sarah for ur attempts to make me laugh and tianhui for being there with me since u r the one who is facing almost the same trouble as me. XIEXIENIMEN for accepting whether i go or not. but i guess my decision is made. no matter what. its not the decision that matters to me now, its this whole thing i went through that i rly treasure. whats in the future i will not say much but i rly thank this whole thing for happening because at least i found true friends from this :D ILOVEALLOFYOU! i mean it okay.
DANCER
Girlfriend
Girlfriend